Hot hatches are supposed to shout. They should bark on start-up, crackle on lift-off and generally behave like they had too much sugar before leaving the factory. Which is why the first surprise with the latest JCW Cooper is this. It doesn’t. Fire it up, and you are met with… a slightly louder-than-normal exhaust note. But otherwise, it's civilised, polite, almost suspiciously well-behaved. If you closed your eyes, you might think you ...

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